The most common reason we go to therapy is to change. To change ourselves, our thoughts, our partner, sometimes even the world around us. Change is a vital piece of all therapeutic work. But how do we actually change?
First, it is important to acknowledge that our struggle to change is part of the reason we find ourselves in therapy. I talk about this A LOT with my clients! We talk about why they want to change and how they feel about change. We then talk about change taking time. Change is not immediate, and we do not want it to be! In order for change to stick, we must understand the change & build skills to change. Repetition is the best way to onboard new ways of thinking and behaving. This is where baby steps come in. Baby steps are small moments of change. Over time baby steps cause sustainable and valuable change.
So how do we create small moments of change?
1. We identify where we want to start. Usually this looks like a thought, behavior, or a reaction.
2. We use awareness skills to increase our recognition that it (the thought, behavior, reaction) is happening.
3. We change what we do when it happens. This can be done in so many ways which is what makes change exciting! It can be about building tolerance or compassion. It can be by reframing or challenging. It even can be done by simply noticing that it is happening which has its own magical way of creating change.
4. Rinse and Repeat! Repetition is important when we are creating change. Whenever you can, think about the change you want to see and keep working on being mindful when opportunities for change arise.
I believe that we all have the power to create change. If change is feeling out of reach for you, hopefully these ideas can help get you a little closer to creating meaningful change in your life!
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